How To: Hold your Nokia N900 and make it drop calls

Hold your N900 in your N900 in portrait mode, right hand with the thumb on the side.

Then push the OFF button.

Here was Nokia’s statement in response to yesterday’s deflection, distortion and illusion show by our favourite magician. Smoke and mirrors at its finest.

Antenna design is a complex subject and has been a core competence at Nokia for decades, across hundreds of phone models. Nokia was the pioneer in internal antennas; the Nokia 8810, launched in 1998, was the first commercial phone with this feature.

Nokia has invested thousands of man hours in studying human behavior, including how people hold their phones for calls, music playing, web browsing and so on. As you would expect from a company focused on connecting people, we prioritize antenna performance over physical design if they are ever in conflict.

In general, antenna performance of a mobile device/phone may be affected with a tight grip, depending on how the device is held. That’s why Nokia designs our phones to ensure acceptable performance in all real life cases, for example when the phone is held in either hand. Nokia has invested thousands of man hours in studying how people hold their phones and allows for this in designs, for example by having antennas both at the top and bottom of the phone and by careful selection of materials and their use in the mechanical design.”

At least yesterday we learned that if you ever cause a problem, just deflect, distort, confuse and make yourself out to be amazing. Don’t address problems directly, don’t accept the problem, deflect, skirt around the issue and pass the blame on everyone else. Push insinuations, distort the actual issue and turn things around to paint yourself in the most positive of angles. Just do your darndest to accept any personal blame.

1. “hey, did you burn the pizza?”

‘Nobody’s perfect. 3million pizzas are burned every day. I make awesome pizzas. Free garlic bread?’

2. “Hey, you missed your essay deadline”

“well nobody’s perfect. Joe, Chanse, Micky and Jen missed their deadline too. Only 0.55% of my tutors have spoken to me to complain about my missed deadlines. My essays this year have been awesome and I’ve spent 6 weeks writing this one, using PubMed, Microsoft Word and a dictaphone. Did I tell you I have a barbeque this Sunday? You’re welcome to join”

Tags: Antenna Gate, N900, Nokia

Category: Nokia, Nseries