Some annoyances from yesterday’s keynote (will revisit when I have more time).

Reaction to the video when I first watched it.

It’s been a long day settling back in to Uni and our new base Hospital. I’ve had this on my mind since the launch yesterday but I don’t have time to fully go into it right now so I’ll just summarise some things that have annoyed me about the launch. I will revisit this at another time because it appears Nokia just don’t get it.

1) Nokia you suck at presentations. You suck. You have all the world’s eyes on you and you fritter away all the key and important things, all the years of breakthrough is skipped in a few short minutes whilst you allow Belfiore to rattle on about changing tile sizes (btw I’m a fan of Joe, but his bit was misplaced). I don’t want to nag and I don’t want to moan without something constructive to add. I was preparing a post about how the 808’s keynote should have gone too because that was also diabolical. So much so people didn’t get what PureView was until they started seeing for real how this technology actually performs and EATS their cameras for breakfast.

I’m going to recreate a post – maybe at the weekend if I get some time on how to do a keynote. I am not an expert. Far from it. I’m just a medical student. But I know damn well I can make one that didn’t suck half as bad as yours. Ooh, it just annoys me that it doesn’t seem like you prepared at all. Jo Harlow, I’m sorry mam, but you seemed like you were so bored and couldn’t wait to get off the stage. Where’s my excitement? Where’s the genuine zeal? What do we get…mo-no-to-no-us—dr-one.

It’s not just me saying it. Plenty of people were complaining about how Nokia presented their devices. The same amount of information, the same features could have all been repackaged another way to deliver something that was clear and exciting. How dare you gloss over the floating lens thing? Or PureMotion screen? You had videos to explain what PureMotion was, why not show it?

You guys don’t understand how to realise what’s important, what to shout about, what to leave out, how to present. There’s no consistency at all. Some things are done nicely (promos explaining PureMotion) and some things quite atrocious.

Kevin Shields did a better job but still could have improved in many places too. He was honest when things went wrong but he could have handled it better. He was very awkward, and a little bit like a headless chicken panicking when things went wrong. I wonder how many times they practiced demoing the accessories. I know the first time I unboxed and used an NFC accessory, I failed to make the connection and thought it wasn’t working. It looked bad on the video. But really, NFC has a precise area where connections can be made. Outside of it it doesn’t work but when it’s  at that correct placement, it works every time.

When the screen tv out thing doesn’t work, stop mumbling and crying for someone to help you. Just mention the TV out isn’t working and move on, let them look at the phone’s screen itself. It was really cringeworthy to hear what’s supposed to be simple features working fluidly being a pain to use by the people who are supposed to be presenting, showing and selling the product to you. How are we expected to use them when they can’t themselves?

I’ve already ranted too much. There’s so much more I want to cover, actually looking back and analyse the keynote video to give proper useful feedback rather than me just moaning about Nokia again.

2) The kerfuffle about you guys faking a video. Gizmodo have also posted something on this. They agree that it’s ok to have simulated videos/pictures. As long as you’re upfront about it. The first time I saw your video I was in utter shock, but also disbelief that this was real as it seemed too good (I’ve been playing with a steadicam for about 2 years and was amazed how much it smoothed out videos like professionals…and for a phone to do it on its own was mindblowing).

http://gizmodo.com/5940748/how-could-you-screw-this-up-so-badly-nokia

It annoyed me because the demo handsets on the show floor prooved this stabilisation worked. But why weren’t you upfront about that video being simulated? Did you think you’d get away with it? And yeah you’re probably angry at the guy who didn’t edit out that reflection, but wait – get mad at the one who did not indicate this wasn’t shot from the 920 (or any other Nokia for that matter).

There’s more questions now as to whether even the pictures you shot were real. Which is a total shame because we have seen pictures of PureView phase 2 in ACTION showing it DEMOLISHING the iPhone 4S and SGSIII in low light.

People don’t care if the simulated thing is exactly the same or near what the phone can do. They just care that you were being (intentionally or by accident) deceitful. It gives the Nokia whiners more ammunition against you and that’s the last thing you need. It wrecks the PureView reputation that the 808 has been building up and the Nokia name that has only recently been on the mend. The last thing you want to lose is consumer trust.

http://sefsar.com/nokia-faked-the-still-photos-too

Should I be worried about this too?

The only thing you can do to resolve this is by making sure these damn phones get to the customers soon. This means Ballmer getting his finger out of his backside and making sure  his team on Windows Phone 8 is finished before the end of the world. If WP8 takes time to finish, employ more people to finish it. Or is it better to sit around and wait? Even making the current staff work over time is simply not good enough. This is what I mean when I talk about Nokia having great opportunities and for silly stupid reasons, wasting them.

Careful execution is something you guys need to learn, otherwise you’ll just continue the history of old Nokia that failed to let the world be aware that they’re really awesome at a lot of things they care about.

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Sorry I couldn’t get into depth and structure this properly with useful feedback. I’m back in Uni now with 8-6 days so will be stuck for time. But I’ll do what I can when I’m free and hopefully I’ll be able to revisit this. I thought I wouldn’t need to finish my first post about how Nokia should have done the 808 launch since they have the scale, money, people, resources to do it right the next time. Clearly they’re still lacking direction.

Nokia, don’t get mad that I’m pointing out when you do crap stuff as well. It’s for your own good.

Category: Nokia